Beks asked me what resolutions I had for 2019. I immediately said (typed), “None.” I am going to focus on resting this year, but generally speaking, I haven’t had a New Year’s Resolution in 10+ years. I think they are important, however, I get the idea behind them. In fact, marking moments in time when you end one experience and begin another is quite therapeutic. It just never made sense to me. Life (at least my life) has never worked out in a one and done. I and I think many others fail at it. In fact, statistics show only 12% of those who set a resolution actually fulfill it.
The whole bit seems like a setup.
Goals, in general, are set up this way as well. We are taught to focus on the finish line. The process is skewed and very few personality types have the discipline to reach a goal. It is not your fault. I say throw out your resolutions. You are not always resolute. Sometimes you are on the fence, but losing 10 pounds sounds good in theory. You join a gym, meal prep, find a partner, follow 18 IG gym rats and 6 weeks later you are back to eating bread after 8 pm and couldn’t drag your ass to a gym if they paid you to be there.
Oh, so that’s just me?
You are not a bad person. It isn’t the end of the world. If you want to reach a goal, here are some Ebonni Facts I’ve used to (almost) reach my goals. It usually works too. 😉
1. Really ask yourself a hard question. Do I REALLY want this or is there another reason I am setting this as a goal?
2. What are my (legit) priorities? You may think you have a handle on your priorities, but if you spend more than 2 hours on social media, group chats or blogs per day, you are spending more than 5% of your time on something you probably do not believe is a priority. It is and should go on the list. There is no judgment here, but when you look at what you make time for, it will tell you why you haven’t reached your goals…yet.
3. What is a good checklist to reach the goal? Make the list. Take one step in the next week.
4. If you could not do number 3, ask yourself why? Be honest. You know when a friend asks you for advice and you give them the real or you think the real, but they don’t really want to hear it. That is the advice you want to give yourself. Be so honest, it shocks you. We all have shortcomings. This is the time to be really real about yours.
5. Forgive yourself when you fail miserably. You are human. There isn’t shit you can do about it unless you croak. Just embrace that this goal may not happen in the time I planned, but be clear that you’ll take one step towards it. If you don’t… go to question #4.
Goals and resolutions are fun to think up, but a pain to keep at. When you can, have fun with it, let it go when it doesn’t go as planned and be honest with yourself when you fail.
And when you reach a small step or even the goal itself, take a few moments to say, “Man! I did it.”
That’s it. Happy New Year.